


we are never, ever getting back together (but i want to)

by fruitwhirl



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, a little pathetic but that's okay, tedford's perspective!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 08:27:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18149495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruitwhirl/pseuds/fruitwhirl
Summary: He’s pleasantly surprised when the pair accepts his invitation to go to jazz brunch because while he loves it, it can be a little too wild for some people. When he tells Rachel that they’re going to brunch with his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, she scrunches up her nose a bit, asks if that’s the best idea.“Oh, don’t worry, Rachel. It’s just jazz brunch.”Teddy should have realized that it’s neverjustjazz brunch.





	we are never, ever getting back together (but i want to)

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact i found this fic in my docs and thought i had already finished and posted but realized that i never did?? so here we go.

If he’s going to be honest, Teddy has _no_ idea why Amy went out with him in the first place—she’s whip-smart, ridiculously cute, and made a song with a chorus _and_ a hook to memorize dozens of police codes that was actually pretty catchy. But, if he was _forced_ to pick a reason, she was probably drawn to his rather enviable skill of bottling his homemade pilsners.

Now, however, he’s ecstatic that she’s at the tactical village with the rest of her squad, and he considers the way she smiled at him, a little shyly, when he asked her out again to be a pretty clear sign that Amy’s into him, too (though her eyes did flash to where her brunet friend was standing, and she brings him—”Jake” he learns—and a few of her other coworkers up over dinner, says that they were going out for drinks, so maybe if they’d like to drop by after…? The pair does, of course, drop by after).

And yeah, they have _electric_ chemistry.

(Their first night together, a few weeks after their date, he lasts a full five _minutes._ It was crazy long, and he’s pretty sure that Amy was satisfied, too.)

But they’re doing really well.

Well, except when she’s talking about work.

Because all of her work stories inevitably feature Jake, or mention Jake in passing, or somehow connect Jake to whatever anecdote Amy is excitedly telling—whether it’s how she almost went to Major Crimes but then Jake convinced her to stay at the Nine-Nine by reminding her how much she loved police work and also breaking football legend Joe Theismann’s leg (what?), or breaking into her captain’s bedroom and hiding in his _bathroom_ with her sergeant and her partner, or that one time her other coworker, Chuck (?), was about to get married but he was supposed to move to Canada and Amy just kept going _on_ and _on_ about all the crazy things Jake did to try and get Chuck and his fiancée to talk.

However, even when he sees them at the bar together and Amy is smiling at her partner real wide, laughing at one of his jokes harder than Teddy’s ever seen her laugh before, Teddy knows that he doesn’t have anything to worry about. Not only is Amy super into him, _her boyfriend,_ but she’s also ridiculously by-the-book, a quality by which he is sometimes frustrated (even if he doesn’t have room to talk), and, thus, he’s assured that she would never start anything while in a relationship.

So, it doesn’t really become a problem until a few weeks after they go away for the weekend to the Berkshires, and she stops answering his calls.

It’s not like they see each other every day, or even talk to each other, but he thinks that they’re still in sync, except then she doesn’t show up for their scheduled date two weeks after one of his pals in the Nine-Eight informed him that apparently her best friend, Jake Peralta, got fired.

Is Teddy _actually_ upset? No. But he goes to Amy’s apartment anyway to try and make her feel better, or at least make her realize that Jake is not _that_ great of a guy. And she opens the door when he knocks, but her face is pale and her hair is pulled back in a messy bun and it’s all fine and dandy and he thinks he’s got it under control until she tells him that before he was fired—she bites at her already-chapped lip, and the worry is evident on her face—Jake told her that he likes her, like _a lot,_ and she can’t get in contact with him at all for some reason.

And they’re in a weird limbo for a while, where Amy, in a ragged, tired voice, suggests they take a break, because they’re just “out of sync” but then she backs down, retracts, says that they should “forget about it” and “get back to normal”. At his furrowed brow and penchant for arguments, she reiterates that _I’m with_ you _, Teddy, not Jake,_ which makes him feel just a little bit better about it all.

Amy wouldn’t be with him while in love with another guy, right?

Right.

After a while, he thinks that they get back to a sort of normal—she comes over every weekend to help him bottle pilsners (he even makes rose-infused drinks for their anniversary!) but then. Then.

Jake comes back.

Six months after they went “out of sync”.

Eventually, Teddy learns at least _most_ of the story, about how Jake was away on a top-secret mission that Amy won’t really tell him about, but Jake’s effect on her only grows more and more irritating after she mentions that Jake told her that he likes her, once again. But this time, she tries to keep it from affecting _them._ Over the next month, she texts him every day and they talk about their days and they go out on weekends.

However, for Thanksgiving, she’s _supposed_ to come over after work to help him bottle pilsners—something she always helps him with, even seems to enjoy—but she doesn’t show up until _well_ after the agreed-upon time and only gives the half-hearted excuse of: “The precinct got locked down while Jake was in charge because of some hoax.” Doesn’t give further detail, just mumbles an apology before leaving.

And they’re like that for a while—barely spending any time together as Amy offers excuse after excuse, saying that she’s “working late” or she’s “got an early shift.” When they do go on dates, he ends up talking about rose-infused pilsners and work and she doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, just pokes at her food in almost boredom.

It might be why he jumps on the chance to spend the weekend with her upstate when Jake calls him, tells him that _he’s_ taking his own girlfriend up while on a “work trip.” (Which, holy shit, _Jake_ has a girlfriend; Teddy literally doesn’t have a single thing to worry about with Amy. She’s probably just strung out because of work or something.)

Of course, it all goes downhill when he shows up and they’re all at dinner and he orders a pilsner and Amy is standoffish and then Sophia, Jake’s lawyer-girlfriend, starts frantically shouting “ _JERICHO_ , _JERICHO_ ” for some reason and then he hears it.

“I want to break us up.”

Really, he should have expected this.

He reflects on the past seven or so months, thinks about how often Amy would get hung up on Jake and only talk about him and how he told her he liked her. Because he’s angry, he brings this up, brings up how Amy definitely likes Jake still and watches in a petty sort of pleasure as Jake’s eyes get all big and Sophia looks ready to kill and Amy is just stunned, stammering, trying to explain herself.

Teddy doesn’t stick around for her half-hearted excuses.

A few months later, he hears from one of his buddies in the Seven-Eight that the two got together after literally killing their captain due to their “canoodling,” so Teddy assumes that it’s a pretty good sign that their ship is dead in the water, so to speak. Plus, Jake apparently got threatened with a demotion if he didn’t break up with Amy, and Teddy guesses that it’s the final nail in the proverbial coffin, as he, now sergeant of the Fifteen, would never give up his career for a girl, no matter how special she is.

(Except, Jake did, apparently, choose demotion over losing Amy, if new beat cop Carolyn Turner from the Nine-Nine is to be trusted.)

But, Teddy’s sure that they’re going to fall apart.

The following year, he’s chosen to audit about twelve of the twenty-three precincts, to deem whether or not they should be shut down due to incompetence, and the Ninety-Ninth is on his list. Because he is a professional, Teddy decides to put his and Amy’s history behind him (besides, he’s got an _awesome_ girlfriend right now who likes to take trips to San Diego and do 5k’s with him) and judge the precinct fairly.

It does hurt, just a little, to see them side-by-side, holding hands, in the briefing room, and then later, when he tags along for their stakeout and they’ve got these little inside jokes and they’re laughing and smiling at each other.

But, he has Rachel, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because Amy is happy. And really, that’s all he cares about.

He’s pleasantly surprised when the pair accepts his invitation to go to jazz brunch because while he _loves_ it, it can be a little too wild for some people. When he tells Rachel that they’re going to brunch with his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, she scrunches up her nose a bit, asks if that’s the best idea.

“Oh, don’t worry, Rachel. It’s just jazz brunch.”

Teddy should have realized that it’s never _just_ jazz brunch.

When the morning finally comes (he’s so excited that he hasn’t even gone over his voice memos to transcribe them), he’s honestly shocked because he thought Amy and Jake were happy but they’re yelling and fighting each other and, really, it’s like something out of a movie. Between the shouts and insults, Jake tries to flip over the table, before just shoving off everything _on_ the table, _including_ his phone, which somehow landed in a glass of orange juice.

So, it’s logical to think that Jake and Amy on the fritz. So, it’s rational to follow them from a distance when they leave. And, so, it’s sensible to propose to Amy right then and there, regardless of the fact that Rachel is standing right behind him.

(Amy says no a bit _too_ enthusiastically, instead going on and on about how much she loves Jake or whatever. Really, it’s a bit ridiculous.)

And, well, after Rachel dumps him and he goes on a little, minuscule, tiny, “bender”, ultimately recusing himself from auditing the Nine-Nine, Teddy decides, after Amy rejects marriage a _second_ time, to get therapy.

The man he sees is nice, with gray-streaked hair and soft sweater-vests that remind him of his high school math teacher. They even bond over a mutual love of bowler hats, and Dr. Fultz, as he is named, encourages him to stop trying to repress his affections for Amy, because it’s “just not healthy, Ted”.

And, so, he does.

He considers reaching out to Amy when both Jake and her colleague get sent to prison, but honestly? His captain just offered him the position of lieutenant on the precinct’s bomb squad, and Teddy needs to focus on that. Plus, he just learned this new brewing technique, so he figures that sending her a bottle and a card that says “Sorry your boyfriend is in jail” with a koala on it would kind of make up for not being there.

(She never acknowledges the gift, and Amy _always_ acknowledges a gift, so maybe she moved to a different address.)

For next year, he lives his life like this—in between trips to Belgium, he considers meeting up or at least communicating with Amy, but he doesn’t, just resolves to have a little shrine of the stuff she once gave him at the back of his closet and let fate bring them back together.

Which it does.

One Sunday afternoon, his bomb squad gets called to a little Staten Island community center where, lo and behold, Jake and Amy’s wedding is taking place. Or, he thinks, is _supposed_ to take place. Some guy called in a bomb threat.

In all honesty, Teddy juggles between letting the entire day be consumed by red tape and heroically saving the day, both of which would give Amy the opportunity to rethink her decision to marry the detective. However, the moment he sees her, beautiful in sweatpants and hair all mussed up, he can’t help himself from proposing to her again.

It doesn’t work.

In fact, when he leaves to get suited up, he catches the pair out of the corner of his eyes—Amy’s wringing her hands like she does when she’s anxious and unable to fully control a situation, and Jake leads her to a nearby curb, sitting down with her and covering her closed fists with his large palms. He speaks something low to her, something Teddy can’t hear, but the worry that laces her brow disappears.

It’s at some point that day, when the bomb threat turns out to _actually_ be real, when the little man named Chuck finds it, when the wedding is officially canceled, that Teddy starts to feel a twinge of sympathy for the couple. Or, at least for Amy. The way her face fell as he told her the news makes a part of him die inside, which is why he offers up his bomb-extraction robot as a ring bearer the moment he hears that the ceremony—though makeshift—is back on.

(He doesn’t stick around for the “I do’s” or the tender kiss or Jake’s arm wrapping around her waist while Amy cups his cheek in her palm or them parting with the biggest fucking smiles on their faces, rings glinting in the flashing police lights.

(Teddy’s not a masochist.)

He largely gives up on the two of them ever being a possibility. Sure, there’s divorce, but for some reason, it just doesn’t seem likely; it’s more likely that Jake and Amy would both die in some cool explosion before ever _choosing_ to separate.

A few years later, he’s jogging through Prospect Park and, as he passes the playground, he notices the pair of them sitting on a bench inside the gates. For a brief moment, he wonders if he should interrupt them, but they seem to be in a distracted sort of conversation, their eyes flicking toward the slides and jungle gym every so often. He watches them for a little while longer, watches as a small child—couldn’t be older than two or three, dressed in dark blue overalls and a striped shirt—bounds up to the two, giggling excitedly as Amy stands, opens her arms up to him and pulling him up, up, up, resting him on her hip.

Jake rises, too, picking up a large tote and throwing it over his shoulder while slipping his arm around his wife’s waist, whispering something to the little boy in her arms that makes him laugh and laugh and laugh. He presses a kiss to her cheek, lingering there.

In this moment, Teddy realizes that watching this little family like this would probably come off as desperate or something akin to stalking, so he takes a deep breath, presses play on his music, and moves on.

He moves on.  


End file.
